You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
