are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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