the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
