evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
