Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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