at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
