Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
