; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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