That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
