i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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