Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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