You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
