i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
