i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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