apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
