Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
