But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize