well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
