He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize