I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
