I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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