if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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