I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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