They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize