I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize