Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
