home. puking in laundry basket.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
