Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The uberlube is also flammable
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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