sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
