This house was built for laser tag.
i came on her dog
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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