there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
two words: eviction party
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
