Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize