Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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