haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize