how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sext me about skeletons
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
