He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
