did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize