He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
