You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
