Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
