Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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