Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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