6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
