Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
