Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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