I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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