I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
