Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
