big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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