Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
