Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
