Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i would punch a child for taco bell
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
