True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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