imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize