Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
