just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
