All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
