I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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