What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
