we have pet lesbian snakes
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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