I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
