Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
