dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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