Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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