Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
