I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize