maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
