We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize