I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
