They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
