Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
