i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
