i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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