there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
