that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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