I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
