No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
