He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
