i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You are the jesus of drinking
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
